You may have heard of J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis. Tolkien is considered one of the fathers of modern fantasy literature and is famous for his fantasy novels, The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings. Lewis wrote over thirty books and is probably best known for The Chronicles of Narnia. What you may not know is that the two men were close friends. Both were a part of an informal literary group in England, called the “Inklings,” comprised of many famous writers. The group met every Thursday night and occasionally on Tuesday afternoons for almost two decades to read and discuss each other’s writings. Lewis attributed his friendship with Tolkien as one of the reasons for his conversion as an adult to Christianity. 

Lord of the Rings was written in stages between 1937 and 1949. Tolkien credited the eventual completion and publication of The Lord of the Rings to Lewis’ ongoing encouragement and support. What makes their friendship so extraordinary is the fact that they should have been rivals. They were both a part of the English faculty at Oxford University. They were both gifted fantasy writers. But instead of allowing their shared giftedness to be a source of envy, they chose friendship to be a source of strength. They embraced an aspect of manhood that every modern-day Vitruvian Man must embrace, the role of a friend. They both exhibited a key component of manhood, loyalty. 

Sadly, most men don’t have a loyalty to a friend like Tolkien and Lewis. Social media gives us the illusion that we are “deeply connected,” but in reality, our friendships are a mile wide and an inch deep. Why? Friendship in adulthood is costly. Most of us consider this cost too high, so we endure isolation instead. As men, we need to rediscover loyal friendship. The Bible gives us an example of loyalty in the relationship of Jonathan and David. 

Much like Tolkien and Lewis, Jonathan and David had every reason to consider each other rivals. Jonathan was the son of Israel’s first king, Saul. As Saul’s eldest son, he was set to succeed his father as king. Saul’s disobedience to God would move the crown and the throne away from the family of Saul. As a result, God chose David to be Israel’s next king. All of his life, Jonathan would have been told that he would be the next king over Israel. He had trained and prepared himself for the day when his father would hand him the kingdom. Then, suddenly and unexpectedly, he learned that the kingdom was promised to a shepherd boy from a small, insignificant village. How would you respond? How would you treat the one who seemingly stole what was yours? Here’s what Jonathan did: 

“³And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. ⁴Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow and his belt” (1 Sam. 18:3-4). 

Jonathan symbolically gave up his right to be king by stripping himself of his royal attire and weaponry. Instead of considering David a rival, he willingly chose to make a covenant with him, promising his loyalty forever. 

Most of us can honestly say we want deeper friendships, but we view friendship as something that will happen to us. Instead of this passive approach, we must seek first to be a loyal friend. When we’re submitted to Christ, it allows for us to look outward toward those we can love. We can take our cue from Jonathan who initiated a friendship by humbling himself and serving David. We can look to the example of Jesus who didn’t wait for our friendship but voluntarily humbled Himself by coming to the earth and dying on a cross for us that we might have real relationship with God. If we have a new heart from Jesus, we can now express loyalty to friends beyond our natural capabilities. Don’t wait for a loyal friend—be a loyal friend. 

“Don’t wait for a loyal friend—be a loyal friend.”